Summer time!

Wow summer is definitely here! The temps are triple digits. I am used to some 100's but this is ridiculous. Well it doesn't help to complain so I won't. Things are stressful around here- oh there's a news flash! People with in our family are sick. My house hasn't sold and dog gone it my children are growing up. I never really thought about my kids growing older and getting to the point where they don't need me as much as they used too, but hey this is getting out of control. They pick out their own clothes, they go off to have fun, and the texting is a jaw dropper. I guess I thought the times of 'Dad and Mom are the universe' would last forever. Well let me tell you, time has a way of creeping up on you, tapping you on the shoulder and showing you that course of all the discipline , all the time spent telling them right from wrong, love and other parental duties is about to give you a big exam. This could mean pass (a happy and productive life) or fail (they end up just where  they DID NOT want to be). This is nerve racking in a sense. You say to yourself, "Did I tell them this? Did I teach them that, and on and on.Well I think I have figured out that your teachings can only provide a foundation and a basic structure of their lives. I think of it like a house. We help them form up the foundation, we help plumb and run the electricity. We can even help build their roofs. But as they age and get more mature (we hope) that's where they finish it with sheet rock, paint , furniture and accessories. They have some of the hardest work. They are having to rely on plans that we gave them (our own lives) and the revisions they make to make it their own.I know in our lives that God is the Building Supervisor. He knows where to put everything, he knows how to fit it all together if we will let him.  He will allow you to change it (free will) but he has told us what would happen if we did. He even picked up the tab for his services. What a bargain. When the house is finished and they start their family, we can look on it with some pride for both of us. There is nothing wrong with , in your heart, to be proud of how you raised your children. But lets just hope that when they are appraised, they have lots of equity. To be upside down in life's mortgage would be very concerning. It's not permanent if you don't want it to be. With a lot of hard work and prayer good things can and will happen for you. You know, with God as the boss you can always renovate. We can hope that for everyone. JB

Getting a move on!

Well it has been a while since my last post. The weather and all its glory has been my bain of my existance. Bunch of pain in March but hopefully the worst is gone. On top of all that stress, we are looking to move. We are at a place in our lives that we either sink a fortune in our house for handicap issues or find one that is better suited to these additions. Let me tell you one thing, and this goes for builders of all generations, houses are not built for the wheelchair bound. They are not built for large people.I happen to be both. Although I have lost about 45-50 lbs, I will always be broad shouldered and when I stand I am 6'2" tall. So a little man I ain't. The bedrooms and baths are the main issue I have. Why make a bathroom door 28 inches wide. Heck I am more that 28 inches wide with out the wheelchair. They make halls narrow. Closet doors are too narrow. The list goes on. so to all you builders out there, 36 inch doors usually don't cost more that 32 inch ones. If the cost is higher I and many others will pay the miniscule difference. Open up the home people. You may not see the need being that you walk but hey everyone ages and you might need a wheelchair later. And if we build , well there is another stressor. To find a rent house to live in while you are building--- that I can get around is next top impossible too. I could go on and on. But I won't. I have been watching my son get shafted in a job that he loves. The thing about this that is good is that He is learning lessons about people at an early age.  Some of the things he has learned I did not realize until I was married and depended on my income. I have been impressed with his work habit, his willingness to put all of himself in something he enjoys, his willingness to learn, and his over all attitude about work. I have one less worry about him. He will be OK in this hard world. My daughter has made strides in her life too. She is growing up fast too. She has learned with a little work that school can be easier and that grades are so important. She has chosen sports to play and excelled even though she has never played them. She is going to a great athelete. I can already see that. She has also opened her life up more to Christ and his teachings. To see that in your child's life is so gratifying. Because you know above all else that she is sheltered under God and will walk with Him when the time comes. My wife and I are under extreme stress with all the house situation, workers comp issues for me (income in the future) and her Mother being diagnosed with cancer in her lungs. This is quite a hard puzzle for us. Those of you who know us, know that score. She is caught between the past and what is inevidably going to happen. So pray for her if you will. I have run out of time today. I guess we are just livin' life. Ups and downs, lefts and rights, He never promised it would not be a bumpy ride.

I don't know

     Been a tough month. Usually February is pretty quiet but not his one. I had to have out-patient surgery last week. Pain pump that houses my on going pain meds was , I think, slowly giving up and pain was slowly creeping back as a daily debilitating part of my life. My quality of life was getting to be the pits. So I get it changed out with a larger resivoired pump. You know after a having the pump now for almost nine years I was wondering if I really needed it anymore. The night after I got released I got my answer. The pain was off the charts. It brought back so many bad memories for me as well as hurting like nothing can compare. The next few days though it finally got back to the pain that I was dealing with normally. If you would have asked me in high school if I would have to experience stuff like this I would have told you that you were insane. My life is no where near where it could have been if not for that fateful day. Yes I know it could have been worse but for those of you who say that , must never have had this kind of crap happen to you. I hope you never do. Chronic pain in whatever form is terrible. Pain that takes your life and chews on it until it is goo is unfathomable. I am not saying this for sympathy just blogging. Oh well life goes on for me. I try to contribute all I can and leave a legacy of love and guidance for my family. Well I will go, maybe later I will be more up beat. I hope so...I

The grade.

      The one thing that I wanted to do with this blog was to bring to light some things that I  never thought about when I had both my legs and they both worked. One example is getting around in public, whether it be stores or just around to sight see or window shop or whatever it is I am doing. This is a point of contention for all people who are (are you ready for a little political correctness?) mobility impaired. Wheelchairers or folks on walkers, crutches or canes are to whom I refer. I will start pointing out some of the good ones and yes some of the poor ones that need some improvement. Getting in some restaurants  and stores is a bit hard if not impossible. Once you get in ,well that's but one more story to blog on ---and I will. The last thing I will report is the customer service you get while you are in these places. While the names of people that work there will not be printed, you will know who it is. I do this not to belittle, or scorn , nor do I hold any malice , I just would like to bring to light these things and maybe , just maybe I can bring some change for the good so EVERYONE can enjoy this life we have.
     I have become, since the wreck a very private person. I am introverted and I truly dislike crowds. When you are a butt level to everyone, crowds are not your friend . I don't like a lot of attention paid to me or a lot of fuss. There is probably some psychiatric diagnosis for this; but for now it is just me. So when I go into say, the grocery store, I want to get in and get out. Its not that I hate people now, its just me.  My Store of choice is our local Super One. Everything is accessible there, and the customer service is second to none. They have a female Assistant Manager there that is so helpful without being,  "Awwww, let me help the poor gimp" in her attitude. She has helped me carry stuff out as well as bagged for me ever since I started going there. Sometimes she just talks with me like a human being should.  I just like to be treated like you would ; like a regular guy because I am just a regular guy 'on wheels' ! A+ to Super one in Bastrop, La and their female Assistant Mgr.
    

I plod along.

     Many people who don't have chronic pain the way I do don't realize the aftermath of an episode. My pain comes from my truck wreck. My right hip was crushed and my back was fractured. The hip crush took the nerves that feed the right leg with it .It also left tiny bone shards and wayward nerves in its wake. So the weather changes, activity, non-activity, you name it can effect my pain issue. Sometimes it just does it for the heck of it, just to let me know that IT can be in charge if it wants to be. Anyway, back to the aftermath. The morning after and sometimes lately, the week after a major pain episode, my body and mind have to reset themselves. I take strong 'break-thru' pain meds so the grogginess from them is an issue. The body's reluctance to get back in there and fight is lowered quite a bit. This is where depression rears its demonic head. You are not in bad pain and there are things you should be catching up on but no, you can't. You can't go forward and you sure as heck don't want to go backward. You are told by the one you trust most---yourself---that NO YOU CAN'T!   Depressing to say the least. I just try to take steps everyday I can to move forward. Even if it is just a small thing,like 'Hey I got up, got dressed and took my child to school. Beyond that may be a stretch some days, but it is a forward movement. I guess in some way you play psychologist to yourself a lot in these situations. I can put myself in a trance sorta thing to get thru some of the pain I have. I learned that early on. You also 'will' yourself to do things. Kinda like I did when I started this blog I guess.

The first time

I have never done this before. Blogged that is . I have seen people on TV and movies talk about it and I just wasn't sure on how and least of all why? Well I figured out both and here I am. The "other level " is from a wheelchair users point of view on a lot of things and my own to boot. I was once upright and on two legs but a truck accident 10 or so years ago took that from me and this is where I have landed---disabled and frustrated with life. I hope some of you folks who watch this thing will comment and share your thoughts with me. Agree or not life from another level can be interesting if not fruitful in some cosmic crazy way.